Tip - How to tell if your food is spoiled.

When first learning to cook, it can be intimidating to the new cook to tell if what is in the fridge is still fresh or not. Just hte other day, some tips came thru on a list I am on that is really good:

How To Tell When Your Food Is Spoiled

Whether you are a mom who cooks for many, a bachelor who cooks on rare
occasions for himself, or a new college student who for the first time
has his or her own refrigerator -- you will eventually all open the
fridge one day and say to yourself, "Can I eat this or will it kill me?"

Well here are some guidelines to help you get through the crisis, so you
will know what to eat and what to toss.

Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what
you cooked for yourself last night).

When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is
probably past its prime.

Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled
when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled
when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing
but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is
already. Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese but
you realize you've never purchased that kind.

If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.

Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem
in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled (or wrecked anyway)
by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.

This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly
good food so that you'll spend more on groceries. Perhaps you'd benefit
by having a calendar in your kitchen.

If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block
radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.

Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots"
that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy
looking white or green growth areas are a good indication that your
bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.

Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.

Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the
vegetable crisper without Comet. Romaine lettuce is spoiled when it
turns liquid. (We didn't think you needed guidance with this one)

Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should
be disposed of.

A carrot that you can tie a clove hitch in is not fresh.

Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.

If it looks like it is ready for planting, toss it.

If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it
has gone bad.

Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is an old trick, but
it only works if you live with someone or have a maid.

You know it is well beyond prime when you're tempted to discard the
Tupperware along with the food. Generally speaking, Tupperware
containers should not burp when you open them.

Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster.
Keep a hamster in or nearby your refrigerator to gauge this.

(Okay, this is a humerous list, but there is some basis of truth in it hehehehehehe. My general rule of thumb when it comes to whether food is good or not is "if in doubt, throw it out".


Jill said…
Thanks for this! I think you saved my sister's life.
Nicole said…
This was not helpful at all. Some actual tips would have been much better than little jokes. What a waste of time.
Sky said…
I needed real answers
JeanC said…
And some people need to learn to giggle once in a while. Sheesh!
Sylwia said…
I think it was funny and a lot of the sarcasm he was is actually true. I love the milk to cheese one, it's funny but it's actually very true. He did a great job mixing humor with food facts.
Anonymous said…
I ate dip that passed your criteria but was bad and i got sick. You'll be hearing from my lawyers...
Anonymous said…
lol, not that informative but fun to read.

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